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Hi all,

Developing compassion for others is a big part of the Buddhist practice. So, what I'm continually coming up against is not if we should develop compassion, or how, but how do we prevent compassion from becoming a burden.

By that I mean as we develop compassion for others, the the amount of suffering in the world becomes can become one's personal suffering as well. Additionally, I have found that paying attention to and compassionate for suffering of others can lead to pessimism and anger at the many causes.

So how do we prevent compassion for others from dragging us down, from getting pessimistic about what is happening in the world, and from getting fed up and angry?

With all the bad things you see you see as well all the progress which has been made and which is possible.
In his most recent book 'Beyond Religion' HH the Dalai Lama writes at the end of chapter "Levels of Compassion": "However, the discomfort that comes from sharing the pain of others is of a quite different order from the direct experience of our own suffering. When you empathize with someone who is in distress, you may initially feel some mental discomfort. But having voluntarily chosen to open yourself to the difficulties of that other person shows courage, and courage imparts confidence. By contrast, when the pain is your own, you have no such freedom an choice. The difference is clear."
I am not yet too clear about this, but I find it interesting.

Recently, Dana, you mentioned elsewhere the experience of going out to weed the garden -- a task you don't enjoy -- and how you found that "just weeding" (no mental grousing about it) made it go much better. That's an excellent model and metaphor for how to prevent compassion from becoming an extra share of suffering for the person generating compassion.

Weeding is. Human misery is. We can accept that these things just are what they are, face them, do them, and not add that extra layer. I think in a way it's a little like meditation for the absolute beginner. The experience (of watching the mind/of going into compassion) is so foreign to us at first and that is what makes it overwhelming ("so noisy!"/"so painful!") but practice lets us gain confidence that we can survive it and eventually get comfortable dealing with what comes up, and practicing letting go of the unnecessary bits we add to the experience.

Dana --
Here I am, participating in a discussion forum! I was just listening to John Peacock talk about "compassion burnout." He advocates making metta a large part of our practice regimen. Without developing an open and accepting friendliness toward ourselves and others, we can't access the joy that serves as a counterbalance to embracing the pain of others. He quotes a Tibetan teacher's metaphor that compassion is a flower that grows from the soil of metta, watered with tears of joy, under the protective shade of equanimity. All four Brahma Viharas support each other and develop best when we cultivate them together.

Maybe most of the following isn't very helpful at all, but depending on the situation some of these help me sometimes:

• Awareness of your own death. You won't be able to help everybody no matter how hard you try. Some day you will die. It's uncertain when this will be, but it is certain that at this day there will be suffering somewhere at the world.
• containment/modesty. No matter what we do, from a buddhist perspective we shouldn't expect too much.

P.S.: Noah Levine made a distinction between metta that comes from metta-meditation and metta that comes from wisdom. That strongly correlates with my own experience. Maybe this will help you understanding things better.

Psychology hasn't embraced metta meditation with anywhere near as much enthusiasm as it has embraced mindfulness. I do know of a case study in which one member of a group of schizophrenic participants was found to benefit from metta. The explanation may have been that it helped with this person's social anxiety.

Quote from Dana Nourie on January 20, 2012, 13:57
So how do we prevent compassion for others from dragging us down, from getting pessimistic about what is happening in the world, and from getting fed up and angry?

"There IS suffering (Not my suffering or your suffering. Just suffering). This suffering should be comprehended. This suffering has been comprehended."

- Gist of something that struck me . From somewhere in the First Discourse, I think, but I'm re-reading everything I read in my drinking days, so forgive the abhorrant lack of citation.

At some point, maybe reading Ajahn Sumedho on the 4 Noble Truths/12 Aspects, it occurred to me that I can't take my suffering personally. I can, all day, but it's like taking the sunshine personally. It's not mine. If I can't take the sunshine personally, I can't very well take the sunshine personally on behalf of someone else.

This has never stopped me from putting sunblock on my children, to prevent sunburn, but I'm a lot less depressed since I realized it's not my job to co-opt that unfathomably deep well of Dukkha.

Gosh what a lot of reading i've got to do. I ll do it later, i just want ot respond to dana's good question first off.

I raised something like this with my teacher once. He indicated that you just deal with what's in front of you and when its time for you to act, it will become obvious and you can do it then. You have to keep things in perspective. You can't solve the problems of the world all by yourself.

Somewhere i read once and i wish i had kept hte link about what to do in the world. What do you think is hte most important thing the world needs help with. Then you can figure out how you can participate in that task. It may be in terms of saving the world from self-destruction. It may be saving the starving in Africa. It may be you think that the malaria vaccine is the most importatn. Or it may be that you think getting the buddha's message is the best thing to help the world.

Having decided which problem is greatest or which solution to that problem is the best, you set about joining in that task.

You seem to have chosen buddhism. Are you doing it just for yourself or with the idea that the world can be helped by it. By your participation on this site, you seem to have felt the latter.

This is a bit clumsy but basically its about always choosing hte path where by you think you have most to offer and the greatest result can be found.

you can re-evaluate your choices also. You might come to a conclusion that there are more important ways to help the world than by sharing buddhist teachings and meditation. You might instead decided that jumping on the climate bandwagon might be a better idea. Then you have to figure out if its too late for you to go and retrain or whether you could achieve anything by following htat route anyway. Or you could say well i may not be able to get hte degree and become a scientist to make a difference but perhaps i could do something in another eg like Al gore and his movie which despite its exaggerations, persuaded a lot of people to start taking the issue more seriously.

So its a question of where best you can put your energies. Taking into account your own limitations and talents of course. I think if you head down the path you think most important, you limitations and talents will emerge so you don't need to be sure of those things of the outset but in the case that you do know your limitations and talents, you might as well act accordingly.

So if you are working hard on one way to save or help the world, you should have a bit of compassion for your self and accept that you can't do everything and it all takes time and you can't do it alone.

That said, i always find the lesson of the good samaritan a worthy lesson. If there is someone suffering right in your path, don't walk on by. Stop and do something right there.